Being loved by someone special and being the object of that person’s affection is an experience that is desired by almost everyone in the world. To be at the receiving end of some one's love can be intoxicating and energy-giving at times that most people wish the feeling never ends. Yet not everybody knows how to achieve their desired kind of love.

Love is not a one-way street where one only receives. Rather, it is a two-way highway and it is necessary that one gives in order to receive. A love relationship is one wherein your happiness depends upon the amount of love, care and affection you can afford to give. Problems start to come up when partners expect only to receive love from the other instead of thinking of ways to give love to their partners. Most of us want to be loved without begging and we could have this if we have the ability to give love ourselves. True love is unconditional love, one that is given with no strings attached, without expecting something in return. But this kind of love usually gets the sweetest return.

One of the common causes of break-ups is expecting too much from your partner. You expect him/her to come up with the characteristics of your ideal partner. If he/she fails short , you fail depressed and judgmental. Much of these can be avoided if your thoughts will be focused on what will make your partner happy instead of the things that your partner ought to do to make you happy. The desire to bring happiness to your partner will give you confidence in your self. This confidence will radiate from within you so much that others see it as a positive aura which will draw them to you with all the love you can expect.

Lovers in a relationship may have the ability and capacity to love beyond ordinary limitations but the fact remains that they are human beings, and as such, prone to commit mistakes. How many long-established relationships have ended bitterly just because small mistakes were treated as too great to forgive? The will and desire to forgive is an essential key to achieving the ideal love we all so desired.  

Real love may be every body's objective. Many have found their love but a lot more are still in the dark, still groping for that elusive happiness that only true love can bring. Only a few found the keys to unlock its doors. Congratulations!

People who fall in love and maintain a loving relationship continue to be in love. They just cannot stop loving or wanting to be loved because they feel that when the love they have is right, it is the best in the world. And when their relationship is good, even if nothing in their life is right, they would feel that their life is complete and there is nothing that could ever be wrong with it. But there are times when, in spite of everything, a relationship would crumble and the pieces would start to fall. That’s when the pain begins.

At the back of all the romanticism, reality tells us that most relationships begin and continue, in one way or the other, as a form of mutual exploitation; something like in a barter station where partners exchange mental and physical goods with each other. And when one or both partners run out of goods, the business stops. The supply of goods must continuously flow. The hunger for both physical and mental need must be satiated. A relationship based solely upon the physical aspects is bound to be short-lived and temporary.

Others fall into the error of building a cage to keep their loved one within their hold whenever they want. No matter how beautiful the cage may be, if it is intended to restrict or limit the freedom of someone, whatever love there is between them before will surely disappear, sooner or later. To love is to allow some slack, not to smother or choke. There are times when two people need to step back and apart so that they can see each of their faces better, to have a new perspective about each other, and drink of the beauty that is around them.

There are people who think that they need an intimate relationship in order to banish the loneliness that they feel, and they feel disappointed when they find that it is not so. What they fail to realize is that only when they are comfortable with their partners can they function well in a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole. They make two different wholes. And it takes two wholes to make one good, healthy relationship. Relationships are segments in our lives where others connect with us, sometimes changing us permanently. We make them last or fail.

For some people, falling in love is to literally fall, all happiness and bliss during the journey down. The pain comes when reality sets in during the course of the ongoing relationship; that’s when they reach rock bottom. Relationships can be both a source of happiness and sorrow.

There are couples fortunate enough to have a relationship that endures everything that life dishes out to them. These are the kind of people who, for no rhyme nor reason, simply rhyme. But for the majority, a relationship is a series of trial-and error, a period of adjustment and re-adjustment, cutting off the edges to make it smooth and rounded in preparation for the ultimate union to last. Most of the couples are desperately seeking the secrets to a happy and peaceful relationship, still groping in the dark.

The most common cause of problems within a relationship is when partners assume that if their respective partners love them, they should react and behave in certain ways- the same exact way that he or she expects. Anything short of that is unacceptable. Partners tend to forget that in order for the relationship to be binding, it has to be elastic to be able to allow the other partner some time to adjust to the expected situation. And the most effective way to let your partner know what’s in your mind is to communicate. Assumptions are the termites of a good relationship.

Most problems occur when each partner concentrates on looking for what’s missing in their partner instead of appreciating and developing the attributes that are existing at present. When they cannot find what they are looking for, they start to lose respect for their partner. Trust is the next thing to vanish and that is when the relationship really deteriorates.

Many of the things that pose as challenges in a relationship can be prevented if only the partners would stop treating the relationship as a place to find somebody who can give them something. A relationship must be thought of as an opportunity to give what is necessary at the moment, something good and useful for the other party. Couples must make relationship be the rich and fertile soil upon which all achievement, advancement and success in real life grow. Let love be the foundation of a healthy relationship: love of self, first and foremost.

Every one may have had experienced love at least once in his life time. Each one may have his own definition of love, of having this feeling for someone or of someone loving him. Yet in spite of Love's popularity, it is still very difficult to give one specific definition of what love really is. It takes time to understand the paradox of love.

How could you explain your real need to be loved when you declare “ I love you” to someone? Is it really because of your feelings for that person that made you utter those words or is it that you want that person’s love for you? In that case, it might be more proper to ask that person right in the face, “ do you love me?” That might speed things up a little.

It is often that what started as friendship eventually ends in love, but a lot of relationships that started in love did not end in friendship but rather as bitter enemies instead. What makes matters worse is that such kind of bitterness between former lovers who turned enemies, more often than not, goes on until death.

Some of the tragic endings of love stories spring from the fact that one of the lovers loves his or her partner so much with that kind of love that suffocates his partner. Selfish love, without consideration of the other’s feelings can be fatal to the relationship. This could be the reason for  the admonition that goes,” If you really love a person, set him free...”

Love can change a person for better or for worse. Many people were known for their bad character, but they changed remarkably into their most admirable selves after they fell in love with someone. Yet these same people became monsters, like the Devil himself possessed them, when the object of their affections happen to break their hearts.

People in love have the tendency to see what is not there and to disregard what’s present. They see and focus on the good traits of their partners. In their eyes, their loved one is the epitome of all the good and beautiful things all rolled into one. On the other hand, no matter who tells them about the negative characteristics of their loved one, everything is of no avail. Nothing will ever change their impressions about the person they love. The paradox  called love can be unfathomable at times.

All throughout the ages, love is the most commonly used and abused word in the vocabulary. It is a wonder why men can still impose their will upon women after a simple utterance of the words” I love you”. Even with the worst of infidelity and betrayal by men to women during relationships, still women fall for these deceitful declarations. Men, too, have become victims of anguish and pain just because some women uttered “ I love you” to them in the absence of sincerity. Love may be the reason for people’s immeasurable joy, but it can be also the cause of downfall of kings and empires.

Romanticists would readily define love as that extraordinarily strong physical attraction between sexes. They say it causes acceleration of heartbeat, making us blush with the mere mention of our lover’s name or a glimpse of his/her silhouette passing by. Others blame love for the goose-bumps they feel when the object of their attention is in the vicinity. The change in temperature, blood pressure and, sometimes, metabolism of a person when in love is a phenomenon that goes beyond the ordinary. But it’s not only the physical aspect of a person that is changed when in love. The general attitude sometimes will also be altered. Bad characteristics will become good if not better. Stingy persons become generous; those who are pessimistic become optimistic all of a sudden. To sum it all up, love can make lovers better persons.

Yet it is also a wonder how in just a simple twist of fate, a lovers’ quarrel, a fit of jealousy, or mere misunderstanding, two hearts and souls entwined in love before, who wish for nothing but to hold on to each other come what may, would be capable of displaying the worst form of hatred for each other. Ah, love can really be complex at times.

Love comes in many forms and categories that man may have come across love somewhere in his life. Love for parents, for family, love for country, love of God or any spiritual being. But the kind of love that most of us need in order to give the right kind of love to anyone else is the love for one’s own self. Most of the love we feel must begin with our love for our own selves.